Things you never used to see at gigs

May 4, 2010

Now I’ve dipped my toe back into the world of live music I’m shocked at the things that seem to go on these days:

1. Couples sharing earplugs. Just as the band took the stage the other night the bloke standing next to me pulled out a couple of sets of silicon gel earplugs which he and his girlfriend slid into their ears just as the music started. WHAT THE F***!. Back in the day it would be heads in the basebins. I wear my tinitus with pride. If you want a quiet night stay in, fire up the cocoa, put on Smooth FM and get the knitting out.

2. Bouncers giving out bottles of water. I’m more used to seeing bouncers doling out punches then the new caring breed concerned about punters’ hydration.

3. Everyone is a f****** photographer now. There were more mobile phones held aloft than lighters at a Barry Manilow concert. Just enjoy the music, maybe even dance. Your photographs will be blurred and shit and no-one will rate your shaky clip on YouTube.

One thing that hasn’t changed though. There’s always the guy right at the front. Glasses, floppy fringe and a checked shirt mouthing the words to every song just to let you know he’s the number one fan. Tosser.

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